the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
time to smoke my breakfast
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
