So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
