somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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