I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
