Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
