His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my phone needs a breathalizer
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
