she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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