Got a toothbrush?
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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