Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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