i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
