White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
