come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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