what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
