I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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