can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
