My room smells like vodka and shame
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
