I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
