You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
