Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
