please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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