I just threw up on my dentist
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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