i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
