it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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