Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
