go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The uberlube is also flammable
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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