He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
