i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
