Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
