fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
