You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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