For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
