If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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