THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
did i walk over a car last night?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
