But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
