You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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