i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
