i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
