butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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