Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
