Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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