you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
