Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
