Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Come on in and take your pants off
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