It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't deserve a penis
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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