i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
