Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
