Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
