spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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