So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
