Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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