He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
