No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
